Don’t get me wrong, stopping the roundabout was no small feat, especially at the pace it was going at.
Remember the fastest waltzer car? If you were lucky the guy got to spin yours all the time (if you had a good perm and red lippy) – well it was like that, even when it stopped you felt dizzy and sick. So when the dizziness and sickness started to subside (which took a number of months), my brain was able to start to think more clearly again. Then the worst thing happened — a childhood friend of mine took her own life and back on the waltzer I got.
I could not process this information – my brain was only just starting to settle and back into overdrive it went. We had not stayed in close contact from our early 20s, but as kids we were inseparable; as adults when we met, it was like the distance of time changed nothing and my bestest friend was there again. I was so overwhelmed with grief and sadness. I needed something from her; I looked for messages on my phone, Facebook, pictures as kids and adults. She had messaged me since my house move about what a beautiful room I had made for my son and we joked about the box room I used to have in our family home. Those messages were gone, deleted, unimportant, but they mattered so much to me now and I could not have them.
Life started to move on and I started to put measures into place to find another job and to think about what I needed. There had been a massive shift in me and I was lost, a ‘crisis of meaning’ is something I read, and it fit well with where my life was at at that time.
In 2018 I trained as a coach which was fantastic, working with colleagues across the NHS and coaching NHS staff and managers. As a manager in the NHS for many years, I know just how difficult and lonely this role can be, and it felt as if I was giving something back to my colleagues and the NHS.
Although my coaching was and still is amazing, I started to realise that the models and tools I was taught were good, but the whole person sat there in front of you and you needed to deal with them. My training was limiting how I could do this and I knew then that I needed to take this further – not only for me but for them. How we operate as humans is an extremely complex structure of childhood upbringing, events in our lives, religion and health issues wrapped up in a nice big beliefs system sandwich. Layers upon layers of our stored belief systems stored in the filing room of our unconscious minds.
This led me into training in NLP and hypnotherapy; tools to get to the heart of our own thinking and to process or challenge beliefs and to offer people a way to fix it for themselves. I am currently training in other techniques taking the whole concept of thinking for ourselves to another level, because as humans we rarely do this.
I sat one evening in August chatting through with my sister about a business name; we had been throwing around names all week and trying to find something that meant both bringing some calm and peace to your life and moving your life forward.
We were both listing ideas, dozens and dozens of them. My son arrived to collect something he needed that was in my bedside drawer. I went upstairs to where it was in the middle drawer and as I opened the draw I found this envelope.
I was stunned, I literally couldn’t move... This is my friend I lost, Jenaire. These letters were 28 years old and I had them all the time in my drawer right next to me. Bearing in mind I have moved house 7 times during this period and my bedside drawers are a few years old. I don’t remember handling them or having them. I was shaking as I picked up the envelope. I text my sister and said I just found this and I also said, my business name is in here.
The first piece of paper I pulled out was her timetable for work, she didn’t have any paper so rather than not write to me she would use what she could! So on the back of her timetable she wrote to me, she was a lifeguard at the local pool. This was on her timetable...
I immediately looked up the meaning of Oasis – perfect!
An area in the desert where there is water and where plants can grow.
A pleasant place or period of time in the middle of something unpleasant or difficult.
So the meaning of my business is more than just a clever word; it means life to me and for this I dedicate my business to her and for her I am grateful that I found my meaning.
TTFN my Jen